As I find myself catching my breath back after a 3-week session of counseling freshmen guys, I hope to flesh out peculiar thoughts that the Lord has transcended upon my mind. It has been a struggle to even find time to think so I've simply journaled an elaborated and fairly intricate thought that I would be able to reflect on when free time is laid before my plate.
This completely divine wisdom that the Lord has presented before my impaired vision has been sanctified - and through such, clarified. This is also a concept that I present only as insight. It is a very narrow and personal empathy that resonates with a confusing, yet hysterical passage that we find in Romans 7:14-21. While striving in this race, directing our vision at the upward call of heaven, individuals develop passion for foundational biblical truths. We intangibly find ourselves more transformed and conformed to the character of the Lord because of the dynamic ways in which he enamors us and reveals himself to us through experiential scenarios. It is quite clear to us, especially with scripture to support this piece of verity, that we are flawed. We cannot love as greatly as we desire nor can we humble ourselves as lowly as God deserves. We are debilitated to act in righteousness as that which we so yearn. Not only the general version of righteousness though, but it seems ambiguous as to the fact that there is a specific thing in which Paul himself possesses a conviction for, that he conflictingly cannot do. His heart is being torn in two; and here not because there are two good things in which he desires, but two uncontrollable acts in which there is a natural attraction to one and a divine conviction to another. "For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."(v.15b)
The Lord is continually penetrating in my heart and mind to integrate a contextual insight in which could not be humane. Throughout my journey, he's moved me to fall in love with his truth in drastic ways. And amidst this bulky transcendence, my feet have become planted on the narrow path where particular convictions have been targeted because of my constant exposure to them. This list is intricately formed, and ultimately ties together specific forms of righteousness that points to a common ultimatum. It is implanted within me a deep desire to humble myself more and more completely before the Lord, and a desire for the sensitivity to the Spirit in order that it is not i who speak, but he who speaks through me(Matt.10:20). The colossal amount of evidence makes it both apparent for myself and others that this is a divine instillation. One must be self-inquisitive of certain attributes that prove dynamic about their own person. In this self-inquisition, or in other words, reflection, the faithful Lord will prove revelatory in his dominion. Why is it the case that I have this heightened desire for both myself and others to be sanctified on this very narrow subject? Both internally and practically, we begin to identify our inadequacies that trigger our convictions. It is because we are not good at this very thing. The VERY thing that we want to do, we cannot do. It is this continuum of dry experiential learning that has transitioned us to this condition of passion. It is because we cannot perform a task well, that leads us to striving towards perfection.
If anything is verifiable that the Lord has conformed us to faithful living, it will be this very thing! It is that convictions are developed in the peculiar areas of blatant flaws. Yet again with every insight, there remains a subtle presence of a warning. Where there is conviction, there is a danger of the development of ostentation. As one develop convictions, this development is constantly transformed in a process paralleled to the sanctification process. It comes closer to a more complete knowledge because our curiosity spurs our discovery. As these truisms become solidified in our minds, we are qualified to inspired if there is such a qualification, and we are qualified to teach or inform. The reason for the danger of ostentation is that the very knowledge we know much of also hides the very inadequacy that is present within us. Our demonstration of conviction may lead to others' perception of our near conquering of certain immoralities. Of course there will be no conquering until the day of Christ. Let not this ostentation be developed, a reminder I constantly tell myself. Let us become lowly in moving our fear of our inadequacies and our potential ostentation tremble in fear before the righteousness that the Lord moves in us!
God, would you make us conquerors, we look to the day. Father would you haste that day.
In the name of the father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
Amen
