On Dependence

A friend asked me the other day: what is it that brings you the deepest joy in these recent days? Now after a brief moment of simple reflection, my answer was that in this life, what I have found to bring me my deepest joy is my complete and utter dependence; of which I know to be a consistent truth pervading in every part of my life.

It is inherent within our humanity to attempt at being independent, autonomous creatures. As our culture has slowly progressed to this insidiously individualistic convention, we have pursued the likeness of unique identity -- contrived and not discovered. We have created stabilizers within our identities that gives us security and confidence. In a complex identity that gives us every reason to become confident, we have forgotten the steadfastness of the Lord. We do not feel that this dependence is required to exhibit a life of worship. When the time comes that our need is particularly distressing, dependence is inevitable, but if we don't feel dependent in our highs of life, we would greatly appreciate this sort of independence. We love it. Might it be that in the moments when we feel the least dependent, are the moments when we need to be the most dependent? Might it be that moments of which our faith is rocking, our intellectual life is thriving, and our social life is vivacious are the very moments we need to recognize our dependence upon the grace of the Lord?

I have found that it is in the moments of my weakness, when my faith is tested through the fire, when I recognize not only my dependence on the body of Christ but Christ himself, that I've felt the most steadfast in the Lord. They are the moments when I know I am clinging on to the true God. It is in the very moments of my life's highs when I recognize that my confidence has overtaken, my dependence on the Lord has shrunk, and I feel that there is nothing I cannot accomplish in my own strength. Those are the very moments where I feel affirmed in my stabilizing in the various facets of life that are easily accessible such as friendships, intellectual ability, passions, and the like. In our ignorance of our dependence, whether through mental acknowledgment or through emotional desperation, human autonomy will begin to sink deep into our pores. In such a reality, confidence will be seated on the throne of God in our life, falsity will be accepted, and we will fall to our moral ruin. Depravity will be embraced, contrition will be rejected, and life will be reckless -- whether or not it LOOKS tranquil or filled with happiness. The seeming satisfaction in the seeming life of worship will instead be the gratification within the life of excellence.

Dependence is a grace that God has given to us to paint for us the glory of a strength, confidence, peace, joy, and the like that is enamored in truth instead of good sin that is embellished with a righteousness that cannot save.

"...for we are not ignorant of his designs"

Throughout this last week or so, the running theme that has been put on perpetual replay in my counseling experiences have been that of lies, deceptions, and the artificial nature that these lead one to create in complete vanity. For vanity is inherently in the artifices' nature. It doesn't faze me that it happens to be the central topic in a summer camp. I probably wouldn't even be taken aback if at least half the people I know told me that this was a theme that detriments their lives daily. Lies and deceptions, which are contrived by the perceived judgments of another, which stems from the standards of the world that leads to the standards of the self, which ultimately proves in covert ways our fear of the world and subjection to it in all kinds of legalistic ways. This is our battle against the world and the flesh. And if it wasn't encumbering enough, we also have this menace named Satan that messes with us every so often. They do not work in separate parties, but in a fashion that is interwoven. If there is any three we can refer to as the triple-threat, this is them. Three against three, where it is hardly fair -- a certain three has already won, and a certain three has been foretold to be swallowed up by life(Isaiah 25; 1 Corinthians 15:55; 2 Corinthians 5:3).

Let's for a moment highlight the concept of introspection. Introspection, within the Christian culture, has been deemed as a thing more negative than it is positive. It is the deep, keen observance and reflection of the thoughts/intentions/emotions/etc. occurring within the self. Now we will speak of "self" as a neutral term here. The self can be fully subjected under the feet of Christ by the individual himself when discussing specifically about the topic of introspection. It is as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:5; we take every thought captive to obey Christ. Every intention captive to conform to Christ in obedience. Every emotion. Every "et cetera" there possibly may be. Thus far, introspection has not stepped out of the narrow road that leads to life. As many may begin to recall Sunday school lessons, James says that it happens slowly, like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind(v. 1:6). We begin to diverge from this narrow road when over-introspection happens. The self and the standards set by the self, according to the world, begins to take its toll. It manipulates the standards of holiness intertwined with the standards of this world. You hear a voice tell you, not out of your thoughts usually, but straight out of your emotions. "You have to be joyous. You have to excel. You have to be adequate. It shows that you're closer to me. If you are not close to me, people will condescend you with admonishment and exhortation. Where is your faith in me? People don't see it." These embellishments that are so thick and completely suffocating, in the most heightened degree of severity makes delusion into reality. The road being traversed on has diverged far from the truth now.

This is even stifling to write. Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace. This is exactly what Satan did in the account of Jesus' temptation in the desert. He recognized Jesus' foundational basis in how he had developed his worldview, and he played straight out of that book. He met Jesus where Jesus was at ONLY in order to stray him out of the safe grounds of truth on which he was planted. Jesus has set standards of holiness for us to live in accordance to, but has also fulfilled all of what we lack by his infinite grace. Remembrance of this truth is essential. So often we believers fall into one of the extremes. We either accentuate entirely on the standards of holiness and forget the grace offered, or we accentuate the grace and forget the holiness required. We embody a continual pendulum swing. We swell up in our apathy when we ignore that immorality is immorality. We swell up in our legalism and meritorious behaviors when we crucify Christ against screaming "your sacrifice was not enough!" through our very actions. Fortunately, this fulmination within us will eventually reach a limit when the reality of the abundant life is revealed to us, following our implosion, by the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ has exonerated us and we are completely free in Christ. Shackles have been broken. Captivity to sin has been done with. Captivity to law has been wholly vindicated. (And that is, any kind of law; that created by others, that created by yourself, etc.) (The law of faith begins to make a little bit more sense when we understand our complete vindication) Captivity to the uncontrollable thoughts of the mind is vanquished! That same thing, but to the emotions, also vanquished!

And now to conclude with the title. "..for we are not ignorant of his designs."(2 Cor. 2:11) His designs most often manipulates that which we know as truth and invidiously interprets it in harmony with the weaknesses of our flesh. Let us establish the truth of both holiness and grace.Let us reprimand the words of Satan by declaring our inadequacy when expected to gain anything we attempt to gain while on our own, but knowing confidently that Jesus has saved, he has won the victory, and he has offered us the grace. I pray not only that we wouldn't be ignorant of the designs of that crafty one named Satan, but that we would also not be ignorant of the designs of him who has given life. It is done.

For every one of our attempts to gain, it is done. Amen & Amen.